It’s okay to not be okay

Everything changed one night when I woke up around 4:00 AM in a panic. I had fallen asleep and quickly drifted into a nightmare about my brother – my first one in a year. In my dream, my brother was pacing back and forth across the house holding a gun in his hand. It seemed as if he was contemplating whether he should take his own life. He was crying, but he was also angry. He walked so aggressively across the living room that it seemed as if he didn’t realize I was watching him. Then, suddenly, he turned in my direction and glared at me. With rage in his eyes, he said, “YOU! You let me do this, Krystia! You let me kill myself! I hate you!” He put the gun to his head in front of me and pulled the trigger. I heard the noise and closed my eyes. Then, I woke up screaming, “No, Dominik, no! I’m sorry! No! Please don’t do this!” Haunting, right? Unfortunately, that was only the beginning.